The Bachelorette: Finale

We laughed. We cried. We rolled our eyes. We ate.

In true finale watching party fashion, we ordered pizza and ate cake. It's clear from the picture that our party was mostly Team Chris.

The aftermath...

Here it is, people. ALI CHOOSES ROBERTO. And you know what? They seem very happy, and I honest-to-goodness hope their relationship defies the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise odds. (They're 2 for 20 when it comes to the process resulting in marriages.)

The most beautiful moment in the episode, make that season, by far was when Ali dumped Chris. Unlikely, right? He was a perfect gentleman. He didn't lose his cool. He actually had the character to look past the heartbreak and tell Ali he respected her decision to let him go before the rose ceremony. (I was impressed, too) She leaves. He starts to cry. A RAINBOW APPEARS. No rain. Just rainbow. Hello?! Before Chris' mom died she told him to think of her when a rainbow came out. He laughs and smiles. How perfect is that? (ABC only wishes they could take credit for this moment) Honestly. Marry me, Chris?

Poor Roberto going through all that stress not knowing if he's going to be the one or not. It's TV though, and they needed that dramatic final rose ceremony. For a minute, I didn't think he was going to propose. That would have been so sad. But it ended up being very sweet. I'm satisfied, but I could've done without "Can You Feel The Love Tonight." Cheese.

Let me take this moment to say: suck it, Reality Steve! All the spoiler-readers (not me!) thought Ali picked no one the whole season. And hours before the show, Reality Steve realizes that he was wrong and blogs about it. And to boot, he's angry ABC won't associate with him and cut him out of the E! Bachelorette special. I mean, duh. You're ruining the show. Last season's finale had the lowest ratings ever. Why? Everyone knew what happened.

After the Final Rose was much more of a breeze. No Mesnick switch-a-roo.

Frank didn't show up. What a little punk. I have a feeling that Nichole relationship didn't work out, and he was too embarrassed to face the music in front of Ali and millions of viewers. However, he probably was still too much of a wuss to face Ali no matter the circumstance.
The Chris interview just broke my heart, but you know what, he was incredibly classy. You could see he was still in love with her. But he was a man about it. Chris, women around the world were rooting for you and are probably trying to hunt you down so you can be the one for them.

Then Ali and Roberto reunited... for the first time in public? (Sounds like wedding-speak, Harrison.) I hope Ali and su amor last. It seems like they have a chance. No one's going after fame. Roberto moved to San Diego and has a job. Ali is moving in. Here's to hoping the tabloids don't destroy this one...

Chris for the next Bachelor? That's what Reality Steve says. I think Chris would be a great one, but I can see him turning it down.

Until next season!

The Bachelorette: Episode 9

Let me just start with this: Frank doesn't know himself at all. He doesn't know what he feels or thinks.

Dates with Roberto and Chris were great. The relationships are moving along quickly. Especially her and Chris'. He really opened up and even told her he loved her. (Yay!) Roberto shyishly said he was falling in love with her too. I love both of these guys. Truly.

Now Frank goes to Chicago to talk to ex Nichole. I do respect Frank somewhat for being truthful and not letting Ali pick him in the end when he was in love with someone else. But I must say: could he have figured out his feelings ANY slower? No. He couldn't have. KIRK could've had a chance with Ali if he had bowed out earlier. I do think Nichole was living a fairytale that episode though. Can you imagine your ex (that you're still in love with) knocks on your door when you think he's filming the Bachelorette to tell you he's in love with YOU? Yeah. Frank's gonnnnne.

I'm really glad Ali decided to go on with the rose ceremony even though she was keeping both men. It was a good chance to tell them about Frank and to let them know they were the two guys she wanted with her. I like how she said that the rose ceremony isn't just about Ali picking a guy, it's about the guy accepting the rose. Yeesh.

The Bachelorette: Episode 8

This week was hometown dates...where we see who's normal and who has to bury a dead bird (read: Molly's creepo hometown). Indeed.

Tampa, Fl. Roberto. This date was priceless. Priceless, I tell you. I'm one for a man in uniform, especially baseball. So I agree with Ali. That. was. hot. But it was so sweet how he made her a part of his passion for a day. Aww. I think his family is precious. Roberto's dad is definitely proud of his son. I like how he said to Ali: "I know YOU'RE going to be happy because my son is a catch, but will HE be happy?" He's watching out for his son. I loved how they all danced too. Wee. Ali and Roberto are really cute together. I think this date proved that they have more than physical chemistry. They can also be best friends.

Cape Cod, Mass. Chris. If you didn't cry, or at least feel moved, during this hometown...you have no soul. The family is so close knit and I fell in love with them. Before the family arrived, watching Chris and Ali seemed so natural. It seemed like they lived there and had done so for the past five or 10 years. All the girls in the family have the same kind of bracelet Chris gave Ali! So adorable. I completely respect Chris' dad, not only for the life challenges he's endured but also because of his strong character. I think Ali fit perfectly here. However, at this point, I don't think her feelings are as strong for Chris as Roberto.

Green Bay, Wis. Kirk. I wasn't the biggest fan of Kirk's dad. Yes, he used the dead animal scare tactic, but that's not why I wasn't a fan. He just wasn't very personable, and didn't seem real close with his son. I was worried Ali was checking out during this part of the date. Kirk's mom part of the date was MUCH better. It was moving to see her talk about Kirk's illness and how strong she was for him. The Livestrong bracelet thing? Aww. I love love love Kirk, but I was a little scared for him after this date.

Chicago, Ill. Frank. Frank, just go away. GO AWAY! Start out the hometown date with your insecurities? Please. Ali is absolutely right, he's not insecure because he's on The Bachelorette. He's insecure because he's not sure about his feelings for Ali. Does he need to put it in shining neon lights on the empire state building? He's just NOT that into you, Ali. And from the previews, it appears he's in love with SOMEONE ELSE. I thought his family was alright, nothing special. I just didn't really care if they were nice or not because I wanted Frank to go home.

Rose ceremony. Ali has a ridiculously hard time. All four of these guys are pretty stellar choices, honestly. But she had to break Kirk's heart. He finally gave his heart to her and she broke it :( I mean, she had to be truthful about her feelings. I just feel so bad for Kirk. He was head over heels for her.

Dear Kirk, You are a genuinely sweet guy, and you deserve a girl who's as in love with you as you are with her. And she will no doubt wear matching sweaters with you.

PS. I think Kirk would be a good bachelor, but I really hope he doesn't do it. He's too good to be a part of the Bachelor franchise again.

Next week: Tahiti, Frank drama and more!

Jake & Vienna: The Aftermath

I could not take my eyes off of the Jake and Vienna train wreck that was the final 30 minutes of The Bachelorette Monday night. It was everything I hope for and more. Well, kind of. I secretly thrive on this reality drama crap; it cracks me up. But that interview was over the top and very emotional.

Here's the highlights of the interview if you missed it: Interview

Jake was an absolute tool. And a douche. And whatever other choice words you can think of. Here's my take: He really wants to be a star. He did a few episodes of Walker Texas Ranger (RIP) when he was younger. He was a contestant on The Bachelorette, vying for Jillian Harris' heart. He was THE bachelor, and he chose Vienna. (To which we all said...WHAT THE HECK? More on that later.) He competed on Dancing with the Stars and ate up every moment of it. He filmed a guest appearance on Drop Dead Diva. Now, does that sound like a wholesome Texas pilot who just wants to settle down with his wife? Vienna said it, although not very tactfully: Jake is a fame whore.

Here's where I tell you this: I'm on Vienna's side. When Jake picked her, I hated her. She was the enemy of every girl in that bachelor mansion. I thought she was selfish and trashy. But now I see what the dilemma is. She's 23 and immature. She wanted love, and Jake seemed perfect. (He fooled us all with his act)

The actual interview.

• Jake was downright frightening. That chopping hand motion paired with the "STOP INTERRUPTING ME" had us all shaking in our boots. Albeit, I don't think Jake is all that strong and probably couldn't beat anyone up.
• It was horrible that he called Vienna lazy for not getting a job. He had her running all around America from LA, to Dallas, to Florida...FOR HIM. There's no way she could have been working.
• It's also clear that he was in it for the fame. Affection ONLY in public? He literally smiled for the paparazzi.
• I'll tell you why Jake described Vienna as needy and clingy. Jake was distant and practically ignoring her, of course she starts acting that way. She was in love with him.
• What about Vienna selling her story to Star? Jake would have sold his story as well, and I see where she's coming from. She wants her story out. Do I approve? Not necessarily. But I wish she hadn't taken the money, although it seems she needed it.
• Best line of the interview via Chris Harrison: "We don't really care about the dog."

Post-breakup Jake has been very active on his twitter (@jakepavelka1). He's still trying to win the fame. Apparently he threw the first pitch at the Detroit game. And he tweets a pic of himself in the cockpit as to prove to everyone that he HAS been flying, and that Vienna is apparently a liar. Who cares.

Vienna (@viennagirardi) has been tweeting things that make it seem like she's screaming to the world: "I'm totally over it! I don't care!" That's fine, too.

Jake and Vienna weren't meant to be together. We all knew that during the proposal in St. Lucia. I'm just sorry it just had to come down to this dirty tabloid war. On with the rumors...

My favorite rumor so far:

The Bachelorette: Episode 7

All I really want to talk about is the Jake&Vienna interview, but I'll do a separate blog for that after this.

This week the five guys and Ali were in Portugal. Beautiful city, really. Roberto had the first one-on-one date. They are just so natural together. Originally, I think Ali thought she wasn't good enough for Roberto. And that Roberto was too perfect and too romantic with not enough fun. Now that's all changed. The beginning of the date they were goofy and took pictures with each other. They ended up in a castle of some sort and had a romantic time. Their date didn't get much air time (partly because of the 30min interview tagged at the end of the show), but I think it didn't because there wasn't much to be said. Roberto and Ali are good together. There's no drama and there's no important conversation we need to hear. Smooth sailing.

Ty and Frank get the dreaded two-on-one. Frank whines and whines about wanting a one-on-one. He just had one last week! Get a grip, Frank. He's really started to get on my nerves. I don't think he's man enough for Ali. The date was awkward of course. Another castle, by the way. I don't think Ty is going to recover from his comment about being for the traditional family (and it playing a part in his divorce). He tried to say that he finds Ali's career-driven self sexy. It doesn't help. An awkward dinner goes by and the date ends.

Kirk gets the next one-on-one. Still love Kirk. I was a little worried that Ali's distraught attitude was going to trip him up. We all knew she was acting funny because she was nervous and overwhelmed about her decisions. Luckily, Kirk did too and took that chance to console her. And reassure her that they were in a good place. I really see their relationship going somewhere. (But why another castle?)

Chris L. get the final one-on-one. This one started out a wee bit awkward. I could tell he wanted to open up but he was afraid. By the way, quote of the episode goes to Chris when he and Ali are getting on the mo-ped: "I can't be the dude that kills the bachelorette! That's just not gonna look good." Bahaha. After some conversation about his mom, Chris L. does something fantastic. He gives Ali a bracelet he made for her before the show started and he's been waiting for the right time to give it to her. (Translation: he didn't use the gift on a different week as a bribe to get a rose. He really cares about her.) Chris L. and Ali got close very quickly on this date. It's about dang time.

Ty is sent home at the rose ceremony. From the previews, I thought he was in Tahiti. So I was shocked. Then relieved. Between, him and Kirk I definitely wanted Kirk to stay. Phew!

Ty, you were sweet and a good guy, but your idea of traditional gender roles and lack of chemistry with Ali got you sent home to Tennessee.

Next week: hometowns!

The Bachelorette: Episode 6

This week we didn't have to wait even 10 minutes before the drama unfolded. Chris Harrison comes to Ali's door and tell us that Jesse (from Jake's season) has something to tell her. And Chris isn't going to tell Ali. Chris dials up Jesse. The phone rang forever, by the way. Jesse tells Ali Justin has a girlfriend, and that girlfriend is with her now (!) I really can't believe that this Jessica character schemed with Justin and now she's upset about it. Justin wanted fame. He wanted Rated-R to be famous. He was calling the gf through the season. And we find out there is ANOTHER girlfriend. I loved the way Ali confronts Justin...in front of everyone. She says how hard it is for the guys to go through all this and says, "especially for you Justin, you must be missing your girlfriend in Canada!" Well done, Ali. Justin RUNS AWAY through the bushes from Ali and the camera. He finally comes back to talk to Ali. I think Ali hit the nail on the head: Justin needed that time to construct a coverup for his lies. But, he won't call Jessica a liar. He finally limps away while phone messages he left to Jessica are dubbed over. ZING! Ali didn't have chemistry with Justin anyway. Glad she didn't shed any tears over it. She was all anger, with "fire in her eyes" as Kirk said.

But I won't waste anymore breath on the lying cheater. Moving on.

Ty gets the first one-on-one date. I still don't really like him. I think he's super sweet, but he and Ali seem more like good friends. Wasn't a fan of the turkish bath either. Between the music, the loin cloths and the massages it was practically soft porn. It was awkward. Ick. At dinner, we hear that Ty divorced partly because his household wasn't traditional. Seems like he wants to be the money maker and he wants a wife who will stay home and clean. Hmm, don't think Ali likes that too much. They have a "rememorable" (word courtesy of Ty) dance in the courtyard. Although Ali is unsure of certain things about him, Ty gets a rose.

The group date is next: Roberto, Chris L., Kirk, Craig. Craig is pissed he's on a group date again. At this point, I was guessing he was going home. I was tired of him whining the whole episode. The boys have to olive wrestle with professionals then with each other...to have the sought-after one on on time with Ali. Chris L. isn't being such a good sport at first, saying he uses olive oil for breadsticks but eventually sucks it up for Ali. Craig says he's a lawyer and usually fights with words, not muscles. Speaking of muscles--Kirk anyone? Soon it came down to the "championship" between Roberto and Craig. Was it just me or did it look like Roberto won? Craig was always the one pinned. Oh well, what do I know about Turkish oil wrestling? Craig wins the one-on-one time. They have zero chemistry, we learn. Ali turns on her lifted eyebrows and fake smile and laugh. She's bored and ready for the date to be over. If she wanted a one-on-one, should we have given it to him already. She never kissed him either. There's no rose on the group date.

Frank gets the final one-on-one. They get to go to a spice bazaar! How fun! Frank finally lets loose and is himself again and Ali likes it. Frank tries on a shiny turban and Ali tries on a belly dancer dress. Frank says: "First of all, wow. Second of all, wow. Third of all, why am I wearing this hat?" Haha. They also get the ultimate sales pitch at the rug booth. (According to my mom, $980 is quite a steal for a handmade rug.) I wonder who had to pay for it? And will it count as Frank's baggage on the next flight? The two have dinner at a cistern and finally have some deep convo. Frank is still single because he's been cautious. Ali is scared Frank is going to break her heart. Frank gets a rose.

Cocktail party is canceled. We head right to the rose ceremony. Everyone freaks out, but we all know (and hope) it's Craig going home. And it is! Craig is sent home.

Letters to the fallen:

Justin, Adios. Go find Wes in Mexico. You guys will be great buds.

Craig, you still remind me of Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond. You and Ali had no chemistry.

Previews. Uhm what? They showed us way too much. So the final three are Ty, Roberto and Frank? Or they edited it to look that way at least. Frank is going to break Ali's heart in Tahiti in a few weeks. It doesn't look like Ali learned to cry in a pretty way since last season. Looks like we are in for one messy hair, smeared makeup next couple of weeks.

PS. TEAM KIRK/ROBERTO.

The Bachelorette: Episode 5

Iceland started out with a poetry competition. And the guy who won got a one-on-one with Ali. Awkward poems: Kasey and Chris N. Kasey, what were you even saying? Whoever said he needed subtitles was right. Chris N., it seemed like you were making it up on the spot. Poems I liked: Kirk, Roberto, Frank and Craig. Kirk definitely took notes during the Lion King date. He walked up to Ali and grabbed her hand and involved her in his poem. Frank did the same, but since he already had a one-on-one she gave it to Kirk. Yay! Frank kind of threw a fit, but he needed to get over it.

Kirk gets the first one-on-one. Yay! Their relationship has already progressed so much I sort of forgot he hadn't had a one-on-one yet. He really brings out the goofy side of Ali. And, I love what Kirk said about not feeling embarrassed to be his little-kid-goofy-self. He has hit little boy moments, and she joins in with him. Love needs silliness. And how precious (and dorky) were the matching sweaters? I loved it. I was a little worried when he wouldn't open up about past relationships, but when he finally did...man, it was a powerful story. He got sick from mold and asbestos. Ali was totally impressed with him by this and understood Kirk's positive outlook on life. She was able to understand that he isn't all fun and games, he's a real person too. (which is what she needed to know). They seem so natural together. I am totally Team Kirk! Kirk gets a rose.

Next is the group date: Ty, Frank, Chris N., Roberto, Chris L. and Craig. Those guys were definitely jumping for joy that they weren't on the two-on-one date. Those are a terror. Why were Craig and Ty fawning over how "hot" Ali looked at the first of this date? Cute? yes. Hot? no. They are really wanting some action, I suppose. Ty had an advantage since he's basically a cowboy, and Ali loved it. I'm not a huge Ty fan, but I think he played this date well. He helped Ali get strapped on the horse and he helped all the other guys too. Chris L. was getting pretty annoyed, but I'm glad he took initiative and went in the cave first. I would've been terrified to go in that cave! It looked like a blast! But, keep in mind, probably three camera men had gone down the hole before Ali and the guys had to. So that's not so bad. I thought the lagoon part of the date was so neat. Ali ripping off her clothes REALLY put the guys over the edge. They couldn't get out of their clothes fast enough. I was wondering the whole time if the lagoon was man-made. I was sort of panicking thinking they might be swimming with weird Icelandic fish and critters. Haha. Frank needed to stop pouting on this date. This is the Bachelor, if you want time with Ali you gotta be pushy. Ali noticed this, too. I think she needs to be sought after. She doesn't want to have to pull it out of the guys. I was sort of surprised we didn't see much of Roberto on this date, but I guess Ali knows she wants to keep him. Ty gets the rose for being there for Ali all day. Ew.

Meanwhile, wrestler Justin is plotting against Kasey AND gets his cast off! It was a tad over the top, and hilarious, when he threw his crutches in the trash. But, I get it, he's not restricted by them anymore. (And why did we not see anyone go nuts about the cast being off? No one even noticed?) It was pretty funny watching Kasey and Justin get prepared. They both think they have it in the bag. Kasey is still talking about guarding and protecting Ali's heart. Enough! It was great when Frank was encouraging Kasey to show Ali the tattoo. Frank doesn't care about Kasey. He wants Ali to see what a creep Kasey is. Evil little plotter, Frank. ha.

Justin and Kasey get the two-on-one. I've never liked Justin for Ali, but I was definitely rooting for him over Kasey. The ride the helicopter on top of the volcano. (So cool, by the way!) The ice seats and decor inside that cave were awesome, too! Justin talks to Ali first. He seems semi-genuine, but I'm still not sure of his intentions. I think he just wanted to see Kasey go down. The whole time Justin and Ali are talking, the camera is flashing to Kasey. He keeps talking about how he will go through any pain for Ali. GETTING A TATTOO IS NOT MORTAL PAIN, KASEY. He finally shows Ali the tattoo. She was definitely freaking out. It was funny. I think Kasey definitely needs psychiatric help. Ali pegged him though: he's in love with the idea of being in love. She let him down easy though. Partly, because she probably thought if she told him the truth (that he was crazy) that he would snap and go nuts. Justin gets the rose.

Cocktail and rose ceremony. The area they were in for the cocktail party was gorgeous, loved it. Quote of the episode: "Kasey came, he sang, he got a tattoo and he left." Hahah. Frank talks to Ali first, sheds a little tear and Ali is glad to see "that look" again. Chris N. is just awkward. He trails off when he talks. His guilty pleasure is mexican food? (Now we know why the camera never showed him.) I think he stayed this long because he was the lesser of the evils. Craig was pretty funny with his fake tattoo. It took off the pressure and let Ali laugh for a minute. I was glad to hear Chris L. say he would move anywhere with Ali. I love how close he is with his family and how much he admires his father, but it was good for Ali to hear that he would put his wife first. Kirk wears the sweater to the ceremony! Adorable. Chris N. goes home without a rose. Duh!

Letters to the fallen:

Kasey, I think we're all genuinely worried about your mental health. Get some help. And for goodness sakes, get your tattoo removed. No woman will love that.

Chris N., I don't have much to say to you. I don't know you.

Frank has been nixed out of my picks, leaving: Kirk, Chris L. and Roberto. :)

Next week: the Chihuahua-Wes style drama. SOMEONE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. My bets are on Justin.

Also, Jake & Vienna are over. Jake, please don't attempt to go on and win Ali back. Just don't.

The Bachelorette: Episode 4

I will guard and protect your heart.

Ali, I want to guard and protect your heart.

I want someone to guard and protect my heart.

Ali, will you jump in my heart and stay a while so that I can guard and protect your heart?

WE GET IT KASEY. (Kasey got the first one on one.) You obviously failed the psych evaluation but the producers ignored it and put you on the show because, let's face it, psycho people make good reality TV. Honestly, that helicopter/museum date was constructed to be perfect. But it was a raging disaster. Take note, Kasey: impromptu, can't-hold-a-tune-in-a-bucket singing is not a good idea. Especially when you sound like Kermit the Frog. Did you notice her reaction? She gave the lifted eyebrows, head nodding bit. Not good, not good. Singing a second time was even worse. You were freaking her out! It MIGHT have been okay if you weren't a psycho and you had a voice like Michael Buble. I don't think there's anything else to be said about this date. (Other than how goofy it was that all the security guards were trying to scurry out of the camera's way since Ali and Kasey "had the whole museum to themsleves...") Ali, you should've sent him home then and there. I know she was thinking he was just nervous, but she's in for some trouble.

The group date was next. But we might as well call the group date Roberto's one on one. But he got it right. He was a terrible singer; I half expected Simon Cowell to come out of nowhere screaming. BUT he sang TO Ali. How precious, right? (I, personally, melted when Jesse sang. He was the only one with a decent voice.) Kirk's reaction cracked me up: "What? Why didn't I think of that?!" Someone, Kirk or Jonathan, called Roberto Rico Suave. Bahaha. Then all the guys had to watch Ali and Roberto's intertwined bodies practice and perform their Lion King dance. How horrible for them! That situation was a breeding ground for drama. Enter, Jonathan. We already know the guy is insecure and couldn't plant a passionate kiss on a woman if his life depended on it. But now he starts panicking. HE wanted that time with Ali. The rest of the date the weatherman is a spiraling mess. Once the Roberto section of the date is over, Ali and the guys go back to some kind of bar to hang out. Tension is high sine no one has had time with Ali. More panicking from Jonathan. Meanwhile, Ali and Craig are having a intimate conversation when Jonathan tries to interrupt and steal Ali. Typical Bachelorette fashion, yes? NO. Ali and Craig don't let Jonathan do this. (What?) Kirk, like Roberto, also did something right on this date: He told Ali to go to her room and get some sleep because she was sick. How adorable! It ends up working in his favor as he gets to tuck her in for the night. SO sweet. All the other guys are positive that Kirk is getting freaky with Ali, but he was a perfect gentleman. Go Kirk! No one gets a rose because Ali is feeling sick.

Kasey disappears and no one know where he is. We know he is out getting a tattoo, which I was positive was of Ali's name. Turns out it's of a shield protecting a heart. Shutter. To make things creepier, there are 11 diamonds on it for the 11 men left. Ah! And why did he lie to the guys in the house? I have no idea. Maybe he didn't want anyone else to copy his idea and also get a tattoo for Ali. Chyeah right.

Chris L. gets the final one on one. I thought for sure that Ali was going to ditch the date altogether. But, Chris ended up getting a better deal out of this thing. The date was more real life and very chill. And bringing chicken noodle soup and flower? Major points, Chris L. Major points. Loved the date. Loved them. I'm really glad they DIDN'T fly his dad out for the birthday dinner. That would have been so Jason Mesnick of the show. The birthday phone call was enough. It was sweet. Mad props to Ali for pulling herself together, although quite disheveled, and going on the date. Chris L. gets a rose.

The cocktail party and rose ceremony are up next. Drama, yes? Someone, anyone, should have told Ali about Kasey's sketch tattoo. I have no doubt Kasey would have been sent home if she had seen it. But I guess Frank is to blame since Kasey was trying to tell Ali when Frank interrupted. Chris N., who is that? He's like batman; never seen but always there. I hope he gets more airtime next week! Jesse and weatherman Jonathan are sent home this week.

Letters to the fallen:

Jesse, I'm sad to see you go. I was a fan. But, the chemistry with Ali just wasn't there. Too bad. Find me, Jesse!

Jonathan, I'm glad you were able to embrace the jokes and make fun of yourself as the weatherman. You and Ali just didn't have it.

See you both on The Bachelor Pad!

Now my top picks are: Kirk, Roberto, Chris L, Frank

Next week: Iceland, volcanoes and love!

The Bachelorette: Episode 3

So I've decided to blog weekly about the Bachelorette. Not because the show is the most important thing in the world, but it's something that I watch regularly and I need to get in the habit of blogging on a regular basis. Here goes.

This season sort of seems like a repeat of other seasons--right down to the contestants. Craig (who thank goodness went home last week) was David from Jillian's season. From the sour attitude and argumentative nature right down to the bulging eyes. Weatherman Jonathan is Juan from Jillian's season. Combine the crying, the "worrying" about other guys in the house and mousy personality and you've got Juan and the weatherman. Kirk is a lot like Michael from Jillian's season. Kirk finally kisses Ali and practically mimics Michael's words when he says "Ali really likes me!" And Justin is the new Wes. They say love don't come easy, Justin. Especially when you piss off all the guys in the house. The dates are also seeming like repeats, but I'll get to that later.

Now for this week. The first one-on-one date went to Roberto, the baseball player. At first I wasn't a Roberto fan; I just thought all Ali wanted to do was sleep with him. But, after Roberto offered to play catch with Ali in the front of the house my opinion changed. (It's also possible I'm biased since baseball boys are definitely my type). I was having deja vu on this date though. Remember Jillian's date with Ed? They did a zip line between buildings. However, the date was pretty throw-up-a-little-in-your-mouth-cute though. Halfway down the tightrope, Roberto stops her (21 stories up, mind you) and they have their first kiss. Made me want to vomit? A bit. Adorable? Certainly. The chemistry between them is definitely there. I mean, come on, "I can always tell how I like a guy by the way we cuddle" ? I laughed a bit. But overall, great date. Roberto gets the rose. I see Roberto going to the final three at least.

Next was the group date. Ali and the guys make a music video with the Barenaked Ladies. Seems pretty harmless, right? That is until the guys receive their different scenes with Ali. Weatherman immediately begins to panic. He has a passionate kiss with librarian Ali. Please believe there were tears all through the day. When he is filming with her, he walks in to grab her for a passionate kiss...but there is no kiss. Just a hug. Take two. Ali kisses Weatherman. Many takes later they get it right. Poor Ali, that whole scene was just awkward. Then there was Kirk who had a bedroom scene and not nervous at all. He was more like psyched to roll around in the sack with the bachelorette, with all the guys and camera crew watching. The guys start getting uncomfortable and jealous and decide to walk away and not watch. Frank was one of those guys. Side note on Frank: Ali is not your girlfriend, bud. The whole episode Frank is panicking about Ali being with other guys. You signed up for THE BACHELORETTE, the most incestuous television show. Please stop whining. Go back to funny Frank. But I do give him props for getting slapped by Ali nine times in a row. But Kirk's scene went well. The scene kept going after hearing "cut!" two times! I felt bad for John C. He got one take and all he had to do was get in the tub with Ali as she got out. Poor guy never had a chance to make the sparks fly. Then all the guys head to a wrap party where Ali and Kirk get it on in the hot tub, Justin pouts because he couldn't get in the pool and the bad music video is shown. I loved that Cape Cod Chris opened up. He's adorable. But I still can't decide if the mother signature tattoo is sweet or creepy. Kirk gets the group date rose. One complaint on this date--I wanted to see more Jesse! I think he's positively adorable. I don't think I even know what his scene was, but I did catch a little glimpse of his solid, tatted up bod in the pool. Weeeeee.

Now comes the drama. Justin decides he needs to see Ali, to prove to her he's "here for the right reasons." Sounding Wes-like again, Justin. He hobbles all the way to Ali's house to talk to her. Okay, he definitely couldn't have sneaked out. (I really wanted to say "snuck," but that's a grammatical sin.) The mansion is crawling with security guards. The guys aren't supposed to leave. He obviously got permission because hello ABC is trying to make good TV. What really gets me about this though is how he didn't tell any of the guys he did it. Hunter gets the second one-on-one and he begins to brag about how he'll be the first one to see Ali's house. Justin stays silent. No, he's not being the bigger person by keeping it to himself. Every person watching knows what's going on and he's trying to make Hunter look like an idiot.

But anyway, Hunter's date is next. They cooked burgers. I think these sort of dates are important further into the process. After the fancy, ritzy dates the couples need to see how they interact in more real life situations. But it was too early for this. Plus, it was incredibly boring. I could practically hear the crickets chirping when they were in the hot tub...that wasn't so hot. I knew after Hunter kissed her shoulder and then she moved away from him that Hunter was doomed. And she kept doing her polite, yet annoying, laugh. And her polite "Mmhmm-ing." Hunter was sent home without a rose.

Now the cocktail party and rose ceremony. First I must say...Jesse, babe, I know you've never owned a suit before this show, but what was the with all the denim? Really. Denim shirts are only okay when you're at a cowboy-themed party. It's okay Jesse, I forgive you. You're too sweet. The Justin drama returns. After Roberto tells Ali he's worried about Justin's intentions, Ali tells him about Justin's visit. Then begins the section of the episode that resembles 13 middle school girls. Roberto tells Ty, Craig, Jesse and others. (Ty and Craig were quite annoying this episode as well. Stop complaining about everything! Also, I keep excepting Craig to say "Ma, Robert is poking me!" a la Everybody Loves Raymond) Then the boys confront Jesse who claims he is being sacrificed. In the end, John C. and Steve were sent home. I felt bad for Steve, he made a little picnic and everything.

So far my picks are: Jesse, Chris L., Kirk, Roberto.

'Til next week!