Jake & Vienna: The Aftermath

I could not take my eyes off of the Jake and Vienna train wreck that was the final 30 minutes of The Bachelorette Monday night. It was everything I hope for and more. Well, kind of. I secretly thrive on this reality drama crap; it cracks me up. But that interview was over the top and very emotional.

Here's the highlights of the interview if you missed it: Interview

Jake was an absolute tool. And a douche. And whatever other choice words you can think of. Here's my take: He really wants to be a star. He did a few episodes of Walker Texas Ranger (RIP) when he was younger. He was a contestant on The Bachelorette, vying for Jillian Harris' heart. He was THE bachelor, and he chose Vienna. (To which we all said...WHAT THE HECK? More on that later.) He competed on Dancing with the Stars and ate up every moment of it. He filmed a guest appearance on Drop Dead Diva. Now, does that sound like a wholesome Texas pilot who just wants to settle down with his wife? Vienna said it, although not very tactfully: Jake is a fame whore.

Here's where I tell you this: I'm on Vienna's side. When Jake picked her, I hated her. She was the enemy of every girl in that bachelor mansion. I thought she was selfish and trashy. But now I see what the dilemma is. She's 23 and immature. She wanted love, and Jake seemed perfect. (He fooled us all with his act)

The actual interview.

• Jake was downright frightening. That chopping hand motion paired with the "STOP INTERRUPTING ME" had us all shaking in our boots. Albeit, I don't think Jake is all that strong and probably couldn't beat anyone up.
• It was horrible that he called Vienna lazy for not getting a job. He had her running all around America from LA, to Dallas, to Florida...FOR HIM. There's no way she could have been working.
• It's also clear that he was in it for the fame. Affection ONLY in public? He literally smiled for the paparazzi.
• I'll tell you why Jake described Vienna as needy and clingy. Jake was distant and practically ignoring her, of course she starts acting that way. She was in love with him.
• What about Vienna selling her story to Star? Jake would have sold his story as well, and I see where she's coming from. She wants her story out. Do I approve? Not necessarily. But I wish she hadn't taken the money, although it seems she needed it.
• Best line of the interview via Chris Harrison: "We don't really care about the dog."

Post-breakup Jake has been very active on his twitter (@jakepavelka1). He's still trying to win the fame. Apparently he threw the first pitch at the Detroit game. And he tweets a pic of himself in the cockpit as to prove to everyone that he HAS been flying, and that Vienna is apparently a liar. Who cares.

Vienna (@viennagirardi) has been tweeting things that make it seem like she's screaming to the world: "I'm totally over it! I don't care!" That's fine, too.

Jake and Vienna weren't meant to be together. We all knew that during the proposal in St. Lucia. I'm just sorry it just had to come down to this dirty tabloid war. On with the rumors...

My favorite rumor so far: